Weekly High Scores
(11 weeks x $5) $55
week1: Joel 126.40
week2: Ryan 131.60
week3: Mackin 131.55
week4: Mackin 135.05
week5: Ryan 154.15
week6: JT 126.30
week7: Joel 134.05
week8: Ryan 132.95
week9: Albanese 126.85
week10: Trevor 130.35
week 11: Mackin 135.25

Bowl Game Winners (except Fiesta and Toilet)
(4 Bowls x $10) $40
Sugar Bowl: Luke
Cotton Bowl: Mackin
Fiesta Bowl: Peters
Rose Bowl: Baver

Fiesta Bowl Winner: Travis $165 + Free League Fee for 2007 (up to $15)
BCS #2: Ryan $90
BCS #3: Luke $30
=======================

Final Payouts

Trevor: $170
Ryan: $105
Luke: $40
Mackin: $25
Joel: $10
Peters: $10
Baver: $10
JT: $5
Kevin: $5

In a game that was never close, #2 Travis upsets #1 Ryan to win his second consecutive FNCAA title.
See BCS module to the right for all BCS final BCS updates.

#1 Ryan: 94.75 QB: I. "Juice" Williams, Illinois v. Northwestern 11/18: 13.25 RB: R. Rice, Rutgers v. Syracuse 11/25: 15.70 RB: M. Lynch, California v. USC 11/18: 11.95 RB: T. Baker, North Carolina St v. North Carolina 11/18: 13.25 WR: R. McKnight, Notre Dame v. USC 11/25: 22.35 WR: J. Williams, Oregon v. Oregon St 11/24: 8.25 K: C. Giola, Notre Dame v. Army 11/18: 5.00 DEF: Florida v. Western Carolina 11/18: 5.00

#2 Travis: 123.75 QB: G. Harrell, Texas Tech v. Oklahoma State 11/18: 23.65 RB: D. Walker, Notre Dame v. Army 11/18: 29.95 RB: S. Woods, Texas Tech v. Oklahoma State 11/18: 16.85 WR: M. Kelly, Oklahoma v. Oklahoma St. 11/25: 1.80 WR: K. Burton, Kentucky v. Louisiana Monroe 11/18: 35.25 WR: S. Smith, University of Southern California v. Notre Dame 11/25: 5.25 K: A. Serna, Oregon State v. Stanford 11/18: 12.00 DEF: Wisconsin vs. Buffalo 11/18: -1.00

#3 Joel: 82.55 QB: B.Meyer, Iowa St. v. Missouri 11/18: 9.65 RB: D.McFadden, Ark. v. Miss. St. 11/18: 9.20 RB: K.Lumpkin, Ga. v. Geo. Tech 11/25: 7.05 RB: R. Little, Kentucky v. Lousiana Monroe 11/18: 21.55 WR: D.Bowe, LSU v. Mississippi 11/18: 21.60 WR: A. Gonzo, OSU v. Michigan 11/18: 13.50 K: G. Rivas, Mich. v. Ohio State 11/18: 7.00 DEF: LSU D, v. Mississippi 11/18: -7.00

#4 Luke: 102.80 QB: J Russell, LSU vs Ole Miss, 11/18: 20.05 RB: M Hart, Mich vs OSU, 11/18: 29.95 RB: Y Bernard, Ore St vs Stanford, 11/18: 18.45 WR: R Meachem, Tenn vs Vandy 11/18: 20.20 WR: D Baker, Fla vs W Car, 11/18: 0.90 WR: M Manningham Mich vs OSU, 11/18: 14.20 K: A Carmody, Louis vs S FLA, 11/18: 7.00 DEF: KST vs Kansas, 11/18: -8.00

#5 JT: 114.50 QB: E. Ainge, Tenn vs Vanderbilt 11/18: 19.30 RB: S. Slaton, W. Virg vs Pittsburgh 11/16: 63.00 RB: A. Foster, Ten vs Vanderbilt 11/18: 0.00 RB: D. Savage, Okla St vs Texas Tech 11/18: 17.30 WR: W. Franklin, Missouri vs Iowa State 11/18: 5.40 WR: S. Shackelford, Wash. vs Washington State 11/18 K: A. Trlica, Tex. Tech vs Oklahoma State 11/18: 12.00 DEF: Georgia Tech vs Duke 11/18: -7.00

#6 Mackin: 159.45 QB: Pat White, West Virginia 11/18 vs. Pitt: 48.20 RB: Tony Hunt, Penn State 11/18 vs. Mich St: 15.85 RB: Jon Cornish, Kansas 11/18 vs. Kansas St: 30.70 WR: Sidney Rice, South Carolina 11/18 vs. Middle Tennessee: 25.50 WR: Devon Lyons, Kentucky 11/18 vs. La.-Monroe: 11.85 WR: Travis Beckum, Wisconsin 11/18 vs. Buffalo: 20.35 K: G. Hartley, Oklahoma 11/18 vs. Baylor: 4.00 DEF: Arkansas 11/18 vs. Mississippi St: 3.00

#7 Hawk: 54.65 QB: RB: RB: WR: WR: RB/WR: K: DEF:

#8 Peters: 118.05 QB: Alex Brink, Wash. St. vs Wash 11/18: 24.40 RB: PJ Hill, Wisconsin vs Buffalo 11/18: 14.20 RB: Albert Young, Iowa vs Minnesota 11/18: 19.20 WR: Calvin Johnson, Ga. Tech vs Duke 11/18: 23.70 WR: Jeff Samardzija, Notre Dame vs Army 11/18: 19.05 WR: Sammie Stroughter, Oregon St. vs Stanford 11/18: 16.50 K: Jeremy Davis, Arkansas vs Miss. St. 11/18: 4.00 DEF: South Carolina vs Middle Tenn. St. 11.18: -3.00

#9 Baver: 116.40 QB: DJ Hernandez, UConn vs Syracuse 11/18: 14.70 RB: Tashard Choice, Ga Tech vs Duke 11/18: 16.80 RB: Kenneth Moore, WF vs Maryland 11/25: 26.45 WR: Dorien Bryant, Pur vs Hawaii 11/25: 12.90 WR: Dwayne Jarrett, So Cal vs Cal 11/18: 15.90 WR: James Hardy, Ind vs Pur 11/18: 28.65 K: Mario Danelo, So Cal vs ND 11/25: 8.00 DEF: Auburn vs Ala 11/18: -7.00

#10 Kevin: 111.40 QB: M. Moore OSU at Stanford 11/18: 20.20 RB: Dixon Miss ST at Mississippi 11/25: 20.65 RB: Stewart Oregon v.s Arizona 11/18: 8.60 WR: Tony Burks, WR Miss St v.s Mississippi 11/25: 3.75 WR: Monk Arkansas v.s Miss ST 11/18: 18.00 WR: Johnson Texas Tech v.s Ok State 11/18: 28.20 K: Martinez Oregon v.s AZ 11/18: 4.00 DEF: BC v.s Maryland 11/18: 8.00

#11 Aaron: 69.85 QB: RB: RB: WR: WR: RB/WR: K: DEF:

#12 Stoner: 75.75 QB: QB Chris Nickson, Vanderbilt vs Tennessee 11/18: 10.85 RB: CJ Spiller, Clemson vs South Carolina 11/25: 28.05 RB: Chris Henry, Arizona vs Arizona State 11/25: 5.15 RB: Donald Brown II, Connecticut vs. Syracuse 11/18: 13.90 WR: DeSean Jackson, California vs. USC 11/18: 7.05 WR: Greg Carr, Florida State vs. Western Michigan 11/18: 18.75 K: Brandon Pace, Virginia Tech vs. Virginia 11/25: 5.00 DEF: Michigan vs. Ohio State, 11/18: -13.00

National Title Game: #1 Ryan vs #2 Travis
#3 Joel vs #4 Luke
#5 JT vs #6 Mackin
#7 Hawk vs #8 Peters
#9 Baver vs #10 Kevin
#11 Aaron vs #12 Stoner

See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Now that Louisville has fallen and it looks like a one loss team will be playing in the title game. You have to start to wonder about Michigan and OSU playing twice in a row. I know the popular belief is that voters would never allow this to happen. But if you observe the current BCS, you really have to wonder if it's out of the voters hands:
Fact: Florida is no. 3 in the BCS while not being ranked higher than 6th in either poll.
You have to figure: A one loss Michigan or OSU squad, won't fall below 5 or 6.
Fact: "The Computer" only favors Florida as tied for 4th place. Michigan is favored by the computer no. 1, while OSU is no. 2.
You have to figure: As Texas and ND continue to win that ranking only gets stronger. A quality loss to the No. 1 team in the country can't fault these teams too much.
Fact: Florida's only quality wins are over two-loss LSU and two-loss Tennessee.
You have to figure: Both of these teams are ranked lower than ND and Texas. Michigan also has a quality win over a rising one-loss Wisconsin team as well. This certainly leaves the door open.
Clearly, OSU is favored in the final game showdown with Michigan. It's in Columbus and OSU has owned the series of late. But, Michigan being the strongest team in the nation (by the BCS computer) can almost afford the loss more than or equal to OSU. This should shape up to be an interesting finish.
(click to enlarge)

For coaches who are not accustomed to losing, an upset loss can really be disheartening. After the weekend's upset loss to Baver, Plub St Coach Ryan Browder decided to meet with a coach who has handled pressure in the spotlight and has bounced back from disappointing losses, Ohio St Coach Jim Tressel.
Tressel spoke to Browder about growing up and learning the lessons from his father: "I remember him sitting at the dining room table when we got home that night, and when I got up to do my paper route the next morning, he was still sitting at the dining room table looking at the play-by-play," the Ohio State coach said. "You know, still looking at it. That's what you do (after a tough loss). You remember those things."
"The FNCAA season is a tough sled to get through," he said. "If you blink one time in the FNCAA, you're going to be terribly disappointed."
Tressel concluded, "It comes down to the win/loss column for sure, but the way that the win/loss column ends up in your favor is if all three of your units do the things that your team needs done to win. You can't win with no offense; you can't win with no special teams, you can't win with no defense. As good as you can be in all three, I know the best teams I've ever been around have had three solid units. Maybe one outshone the other, and maybe that was by design or whatever, but you have to be good at everything to at the end of the year be one of the top teams in your conference or one of the top teams in the country."
Browder had the following to say about Tressel: "Coach Tressel has been a very positive influence for me. I think he does things the right way and I try to learn by watching him. Without really knowing it, he has furthered my interest in the [coaching] profession."
When asked about Plub State's chances in the BCS Title, Game, Browder stated, "We're not looking at the Bowl game. We have the Hawkeyes this weekend. They're well-coached and have some explosive football players. We're looking for our seniors to step up to the challenge and end the regular season on a sound note."

#2 in the BCS is very very close. It comes down to the final week. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Dateline 10/30 - Westerville, OH USA G.I. Joe legend Snake Eyes has been formally expelled from the G.I. Joe Hall of Fame amidst charges of illegal substance abuse. In his recent tell-all book titled, Loped Ass Ninja, Snake Eyes admits to wild sex orgies after missions, alcohol abuse, and continuous use of HGH during the 80's and into the 90's. He even dated Baroness for a period of time, "she was aight, I was going through this West German babe phase in '88." Snake Eyes continues,"...straight in the ass is where I took it...I mean the needle for the drugs...not, well ya know".
File photos do show a growth in body size, but many just thought he had started eating American foods:
Snake Eyes in 1982 Snake Eyes in 1988
Sgt. Slaughter had this to say: "Dang, real disappointed for sure. That isn't the American way. He never talked, so we had no idea what he was doing outside of missions. I always thought he was a ninja...and practiced flips and ninja things...you never know".

The battle for #2 is on. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Lay some lumber to these.
Clemson (-4.5) at Virginia Tech -
Va Tech is down a bit this year and Clemson isn't.
Notre Dame (-13) at Navy -
This spread would have been legit had Navy's QB not been put out for the year.
Penn State at Purdue (+3) -
It kills me but PSU's secondary will let them down here and their offense won't keep up.
Southern California (-12) at Oregon State -
USC puts it all together this week.
Minnesota at Ohio State (-27) -
Stupid Gophers couldn't score last week against North Dakota St at home, how are they going to do it here?
Georgia at Florida (-13.5) -
Florida comes off a bye and bites Georgia.
Iowa State (+4) at Kansas State -
Iowa St's senior QB gets it done.
New Mexico State (+17) at Nevada -
New Mexico St can score enough to keep it close.
Washington State (+1.5) at UCLA -
Washington St wins straight up.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Hey kids, Howard Dean here. I've got the predictions you need. Alright everyone, get fired up because first we're going to OREGON where WR J. Williams will lead team Plub over WSU 119-101. Then we're going to MMMMMMARLYAND where Greg Carr leads the Trainwreck over ColdGinntime 98-96. We're not done yet gang, get AMPED and make some friggin' noise because next we're going to ILLI-NOISE where P.J. Hill runs for 200 and leads team Brad over the Straps 89-86. Then we're going to take it to 'em in South Carolina where Tenn. WR R. Meacham torches the USC secondary as Jimmy's Lizard whips team Turd Ferguson aka Travis 120-77. HEARTLAND TIME BABY..we're going to Ohio and Ted Ginn scores 4 tds and leads Hawkeyes over JT 113-80. Alllriiiight, gas up the jet we're taking MISSISSIPPI as my fellow American Dicky Lyons leads Thanksforthetime over Johnny Brats 86-80.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

*Moritz Leuenberger, President of Switzerland chimes in for Ted Knight this week...
1. We have to ask it. The two teams have made it unscathed to this point. #1 Ryan vs #2 Joel. Who wins? And even better...how do you see the BCS shaking out after the game?

Joel wins this game. I've been picking against him every week and he comes out and puts up w's. If you were to ask me, I'm not exactly sure what I would say about how he does it, but he wins. Whoever loses this game drops to 3 behind T-Bone.

This should be a good game, especially since Ryan has Cal on a bye. No Longshore, no Lynch. This game will be close. If Ryan wins, I think he'll stay #1 in the BCS and the winner of the Luke/Travis battle will take over #2. If Joel wins, he takes over #1 and Ryan goes to #2. With Lynch out, I can't see Ryan winning this game. Joel will be the new #1.

We covered this last week, mostly. I think Ryan is the odds on favorite. Joel was lucky yet again as Bobby Reid goes down early in what looked like an upset in the making. Why does Anthony Gonzalez only have good games only when he's playing on Joel's roster? I don't know. Both teams are the teams to beat, but Ryan wins this one easily, pretty much sealing his spot in the BCS Title game and kicking the door open for the winner of Jimmy vs. the Zips.
2. No one is paying attention but Hawk has won 3 straight and is now 4-4. Is he quietly becoming a contender or just getting lucky?

Who the hell is Hawk? Oh him. His rise is as improbable as Ryan, JT, and Travis actually making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes by Halloween. What's more amazing is he's done this with no running game. Here are his backs:
Antone Smith - Up and mostly down
Pierre Thomas - Demoted
Hugh Charles - Stinks
Thomas Clayton - Like 5th string
Thomas Brown - Out for the season
Tyrone Moss - 4 points in the last 2 games

Honestly, if he had even one playable back, he'd be a big time contender. Other than that, his team is pretty good.

Hawk is actually turning his season around. Troy Smith, Ginn and the emerging Sweed have made Hawk no longer a bye week for opponents. Is he a contender? No. But he's good enough to have Ryan concerned for the final week of the regular season.

Lucky. Travis had 100 points sitting on his bench when the Hawkeyes eeked out a close one, two weeks ago. Hawkeyes go how Troy Smith and T. Ginn go, and for the next couple weeks, they will be dangerous. His team will be nullified for any bowl game though because the Bucks have Michigan and a BYE to choose from. That ain't going to pay the bills. Stick a fork in this clown, he has no backup QB.
3. #10 Kevin had the following to say in a recent interview:
Kevin: u guys hate anything popular
just because it's popular
u guys hate music u've never heard
u guys hate tv shows uve never seen
u guys are sort of a waste of my time

Question: Are we a waste of his time?

Yes, I am pretty much a waste of his time. Things that are not a waste of his time include butterflies, long walks by the shore, and kittens.

Well, anyone who likes Two and a Half Men is good in my book. Why should he waste his time with clowns who won't even try to sit through one of my shows? Basically it boils down to the fact that FNCAA is over-populated with Democrats, who wouldn't know good TV or music if it hit them right in their hippy faces. Now, if you'll excuse me....I'm going to go color my hair.

I hate Kiss because they can't hold a candle to the Ozzy Osbourne "No More Tears" Tour. I hate Two and a Half Men because they can't hold a candle to "Everybody Loves Raymond". But, I'm not a total waste of Kevin's time. I do love three things that are popular; Pepsi, Gwen Stefani, and America! ROCK ON USA! Don't tread on me.

Ryan and Joel strengthen hold, but prepare for a #1 vs #2 BCS showdown. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

This week, a special appearance by Paul Stanley
Last week, Gene went 3-2 while old man Kreskin suffered another 1-4. For the year, Gene is 11-8-1, Kreskin is 7-12-1 (peeee u)
#1.) West Virginia (-22) at Connecticut
A-K 47: Well, well. The circus must be in town. I see we have another clown here. Joining us via old looking television from his tour stop in Pigs Knuckle, Arkansas, is Paul Stanley. First game. The West Virginia running stampede kicks it into high gear last week in their destruction of Syracuse. Connecticut fresh off a win against Army is the opponent. I see this as a potential trap with WVU going on the road against UCONN on a nationally televised game. The heck with all that, The Amazing Kreskin is going to go ahead and take West Virginia to roll covering the 22.
Gene: A classic Big Least matchup. Uconn stinks. They smell as bad as Stoner's jeep after a hockey game. I personally can't believe this spread isn't 42. I have to go with WVU here.
Paul: Gene, right on. I disagree with everything you do and say, that's why I'm the talent behind Kiss. For once, I have to agree. The Gene/Paul conglomerate pick WVU.
#2.) Texas (-6.5) at Nebraska
Paul: "Lift me.. lift me up"... oh sorry. I'm belting out a line from my soon to be new hit song. Comparing my solo to yours Gene, is sort of like comparing Stoners athletic ability to Plubs. It's no contest. You can't sing, and Plub throws a baseball like a girl. I'm taking this one. Texas is getting better and better, and could wind up in a rematch v.s Ohio State in January. I see nothing stopping the longhorns here. Nothing stops Texas here, as sure as nothing stops Baver from hitting various Kegs this weekend. Texas is the pick.
GENE: Well OHHHH YEAAAAH!
A-K 47: The South Fargo Plainsman picked Nebraska in this game. Then again, they also gave Paul's new album 5 stars out of 10, showing just how far out of touch they really are. The Amazing Kreskin says Texas is the pick winning by 7.
#3.) Georgia Tech at Clemson (-7.5)
A-K 47: Georgia Tech always plays well in big games and then gets beat by chumps. This is a big game. The Amazing Kreskin will go ahead and say Georgia Tech loses the game but utilizes the 7.5 as win against the spread.
Paul: Georgia Tech doesn't wear yellow as well as I did on our Asylum tour, when I wore that pretty yellow blouse with the light blue baggy pants. They do however, bring some game. What looked like a sinking ship under Reggie Ball, is turning into a Ball/Johnson connection that reminds me of Jeff Blake to Carl Pickens. However, I don't see it here. Georgia Tech will come down with a famous Travis Brookhart cold and be too weak to play.
Trevor... always too weak to go out, never too weak to pop in the latest Jenna Jamison DVD and twist off the vasoline top. Hey Travis: Learn to play guitar. It worked for me.
Clemson is good. They are the pick.
GENE: Well OHHH YEAAAH!
#4.) Hawaii (-18.5) at New Mexico State
PAUL: Wow. a game in which I may be able to call, as I'm also in a all D1A league and own super stud Chase Holbrook. Hawaii can't stop anyone's offense any better than people can stop our record breaking music sales (sorry McCartney). Holbrook hurt his ribs last week, but won't miss this game. Look for 500 yds passing (again). Hawaii wins most likely with Brennan, but NMS covers this spread. NMS is the pick.
GENE: Well OHHH YEAAH!
A-K 47: Hawaii puts up points like ODA Distribution moves merchandise. Ok, well not really. I just see Hawaii as a vastly superior football team here and The Amazing Kreskin says they cover 18.5.
#5.) Iowa at Michigan (-13)
A-K 47: Hey Paul, when you finish up with these picks, can you make my kid a balloon animal? Oh wait, my kid is 57. Iowa lost to Indiana last week which is never good. This game seems like it should be more than 13. So why isn't it? The Amazing Kreskin is going to go on a limb and say Iowa keep this one within 13.
PAUL: Michigan romps, as sure as I romped with your wife Shannon Tweed 15 years ago. Sorry dude.. she was there and I'm Paul Stanley. Do the math. You are ugly, I'm not.
Michigan is the pick
GENE: Well OHHH YEAA....... what the hell did you say about my girlfriend?
#6.) Plub St (-7) at Jimmy's Lizard, sponsored in part by Gene Simmons.
(hey, I put my name on everything, if u look closely, Simmons bread will be in the aisle next to Wonder. It features red crust and is shaped like my tongue).
PAUL: This game should be picked up by ABC in HD. Let me sign you a song.
This song says, what Rock and Roll is all about. I want you all to help us out on this one.. it goes like this:
Plub says, he's got to win for the mo-o-ney, but Jimmy's Lizard is not on that page, he drives Plub wild and makes him craaaazy...
Plub says he'll take him for a spin, but the party's over and Jimmy's begins.. he drives plub wild and makes him crazy.
You keep on shoutin, you keep on shoutin..
GENE: WHAT?
Chorus: Plub, gets his ass kicked bad this week... Jimmy parties ev-er-y day!
Jimmy's Lizard is the pick, however small that lizard is. Plub seeks Kim's shoulder for consolation, and she strips, saying "Ive never done this before".
A-K 47: Is this what it's come to? Now I'm picking fantasy football games? Well whatever. Ask and you shall receive. The Amazing Kreskin has run out of things to write and takes Jimmy's L and the 7 points.
That's it for this week. Kreskin out.

*James Hetfield chimes in for Ted Knight this week...
1. The season is entering its final stretch and there are 2 undefeated teams left. Will one or both finish the season undefeated? If so, who?

Neither will. In fact, both teams will lose this weekend. Peterson going down is crippling for the Joelsters. But you never know, Stoner may leave a 50 point dude on the bench and let him get by. It seems to happen every friggin week. Assuming he didn't hit the bong too much in Jamaica to make lineup changes, Jimmy's Lizard hits PluStU at the right time and wins as well. Yeah ha.

No way. The day these teams finish undefeated is the day Kenny Mayne wins Dancing with the Stars. However, no team in FNCAA history has only lost one game and that is a possibility. Joel is Peterson-less against Stoner, Ryan, Luke and then Mackin, all which have the ability to put up points. Prediction: Joel loses 2-3 of these games. Ryan has Luke, Joel, Baver and then Hawk. I see him losing one of these games, putting him in the title game with 1 loss.

Well first off, that's impossible since they play each other in week 9. However, to elaborate, both these teams have pretty tough schedules coming down the stretch. I see Ryan losing 1 game and Joel's Raiders squad losing 2 of his very tough 4 remaining games. No undefeated teams in the FNCAA this year, sorry folks.
2. Speaking of Ryan and Joel, are they on a collision course for a Browder title game or will there be any surprises?

Yes, there are going to be surprises. The title game will be Flug St versus Travis's band of merry men. Travis once again molds a group of guys you scratch your head and wonder about into a title contender. PFC Flug needs to cruise through an easy end of year schedule and wait. Kevin immediately petitions the league office to get into the game as he would have been there if Bush hadn't got hurt and Hicks hadn't been a moron and the defense rules not been so absurd. Yeah ha.

Well, I think Ryan's in. I thought it would be a tight race between Joel and Travis. That was before Travis laid an egg against Hawk. If there's one thing I know, its comebacks (see my hit TV show as proof), and I think Travis will still be in the mix after Joel drops 2 or 3 of his last 4. Travis' big game will be against Luke in 2 weeks. Speaking of, the newly married man will play a big factor in the title game. Luke plays Ryan, Travis and Joel in the next 3 weeks. If (and I mean if) he wins those, mark it down...he'll be the one playing Ryan for the title.

Going further into my foresight that Ryan loses 1 game and Joel loses 2. Those two loses should be enough to have Joel on the outside looking in on the BCS title game. The under-card game in week 9 is Jimmy's Lizard vs. an inconsistent Zips squad. This game will decide who plays Ryan for the title. My prediction is the Zips will emerge from the rubble and play for an FNCAA record second straight title.
3. An interesting article on fncaa.com by John Kerry stating that Stoner could and probably should be 5-2 and #3 in the BCS. Rather, he is 1-6 and threatening to break the single-single loss record. Is Stoner a coach on the hot seat?

Of course he is. His team management skills are as bad as Albanese's hair coloring skills. There have been lineup moves that could have been made every week that would propelled his team to victory and he failed to make them. He stinks. Its about time for him to start shopping for nudie mags full of questionable women and a case of Zima and a package of Jolly Ranchers for Travis to drink. He has about as much control over his team as Larry Coker does. I would go so far as to say there should be a trophy named for him given out yearly for stupidity, but then again he'd just win it every year. Yeah ha.

Kerry makes some good points. In fact, his article is quite humorous. Maybe CBS should give him a sitcom. Kerry with a hot wife and he plays dumb. It'd fit right into the CBS primetime schedule. Back on track...Stoner's team is much better than his record. Stoner traditionally makes match-up blunders, but usually has decent talent to help cover up. Not this season. Stoner will win some games and most likely will keep his job...but like Ted Knight's sitcom, its a little Too Close for Comfort.

This league is full of woulda-coulda-shoulda. Example the Zips would be undefeated if they had played one player different in each of their close losses. But, who's to say the competition couldn't say the same thing. John Kerry needs to look no further than the records tab on U-Sports to see that this year is the year of college fantasy parody. Only two of the top 6 scorers this year were by an actual players in a lineup. It's been a tough year for evaluating talent, and an even tougher year on evaluating match-ups. Coach Stoner's job is safe, IF he can play spoiler in one of his two games against the current BCS top 4. IF NOT, maybe him and John L. Smith can start over together in Conference USA next year.

Just back from my weekly soccer game. I always play soccer when I should be voting, but hey, we are not in session right now anyway, so I figured I'd live my life like I would if I was working.
In my spare time, I've noticed Michael Stoner has had a hard time starting the right lineup in his FNCAA league. Now, I didn't vote on those rules either or his lineup, but I think my rich wife would tell me who to start, and maybe Stoner should take advice from his not so rich wife, as I think she may do better than him. Who knows? Maybe she can win the money and Stoner can be like me, and get rich of marriage and get paid without actually working, while having suckers pay for my lame presidential bid.
I digress... now on to the good stuff.
WEEK 1: Stoner gets that first win out of the gate, all the right moves. This is the year he contends.
OOPS....
WEEK 2 LOSS. In a barnburner with PLUB, Stoner loses 131-117. Insert Drew Weatherford for Ben Olson, and Mike Hamilton for Kenny Irons, Stoner wins and is 2-0.
WEEK 3 LOSS: Stoner drops one to lowly JT by 8. Failing to realize Irons is not in a sweet zone for his team, he starts him again. Oops. Sub either of his other benched RB's, and Stoner could be 3-0. OR, Play Dixon over Weatherford, and Stoner wins. Either way, he'd be 3-0.
WEEK 4 LOSS: Stoner gets pummelled by 85. His record would be 3-1.
WEEK 5 LOSS: Stoner takes another honest loss to peters. Record would be 3-2
WEEK 6 LOSS: Stoner loses by 3.15 to what was the worst team in FNCAA at the time. OOPS, Had Stoner realized the Texas RB situation is a mess after 6 weeks and started Cory Boyd, it's another easy win. OR, if he realized he's made a mistake with Irons and subs Boyd for him, he also wins easily. Record would be 4-2
WEEK 7 LOSS: The Grand Daddy of them all to date. Stoner suffers a 6 pt loss to the pitiful Strap Ons, while scoring 69 points. The problem is, his bench scored 123.5 pts. Pick any player off Stoners bench, sub them for oh.... I don't know... KENNY IRONS?... Stoner walks away with another win and stands 5-2, and a most likely solid #3 BCS.
Stayed tuned for next weeks episode in what has become a yearly tradition with Team Stoner's bench.
PS: Stoner - you may want to stop starting Irons. He stinks.

Undefeated Browders at the top. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Records: Last week, Kreskin had his wife Kacy make the picks, thus he beat me. For the year, Gene is 8-6-1, Kreskie is 6-8-1
Florida +1.5 at Auburn
A-K: Auburn has kind of been exposed as one dimensional. If you can stop Irons, you can wreck their offensive plan. Florida suddenly looks to be in a good position. At the start of the year, it seemed impossible that they would run the table. Now, not as much. That's just the type of thing they should worry about. Letting up once the media tells them they can win out. But I don't see it happening here. The Amazing Kreskin says the Gators and 1.5 are the pick.
GENE: Auburn is as one dimensional as Kiss. Paul is messing it up for all of us with that solid solo cd. I don't put as much thought into this as Kreskin does. I say the pick is FLORIDA, because they are better.
Missouri -2 at Texas A/M
A-K: True or false, my odd looking friend. You had your tongue replaced with a horse tongue in the 70's. Come clean now, the Amazing Kreskin demands it. Missouri had their QB replaced with one that apparently understands that there is a whole team available to use and you don't have to run draws every play. They are a much better team because of it. The Amazing Kreskin chooses Missouri, laying 2 on the road.
GENE: I highly doubt Missouri is this good. And no, I had no horse toungue you viagra taking wrinkled man.. it's all natural. As natural as Texas A/M taking down Missouri with this spread. TEXAS A/M
Ohio State -15 at Michigan State
A-K: Michigan State is reeling. They're really going miss Javon Ringer and Matt Trannon in this game. Without them, their offense is as boring and bland as Paul Stanley's new solo record. I just don't see how they're going to score enough points to keep it within 15. The Amazing Kreskin prognosticates Ohio State -15 is the pick.
GENE: MSU always plays OSU tough. And, Kreskin has no taste in music. Then again, we don't respect guys who download music for free cause they are too cheap to pay. I think whoever Kreskin works for should make him work for free for a month and see how he likes it.
Anyway, I have to go with Michigan State. 15 is too much. They will win by 14. Michigan State covers in the loss.
Michigan -6.5 at Penn State
A-K: Revenge time at Happy Valley. The obvious key here is the loss of Manningham for this game. Penn State has a young secondary and it was shown last week by Minnesota that it can be exploited. With Manningham in the game, there is a problem. Without him, this game stays close. Also, Joe Pa and I are nearly the same age, something I cannot overlook in this contest. The Amazing Kreskin selects Penn State getting 6.5.
GENE: How can Kreskin keep picking his homers? Is it because Manningham is out? Not to worry. Michigan has more than Manningham. But they have a choke of a coach. Enough of a choker that I think he'll roll into Columbus undefeated to get smoked. MICHIGAN is the pick.
Rutgers at Navy -1
A-K: The Naval Academy is looking good. Not quite as good as JT who was recently spotted purchasing a sailor outfit to wear out on the town, but close. This game got ugly last year with Navy winning and basically slapping Rutgers in the face with it. Based on the way they're playing, I don't see any reason why that should change. The Amazing Kreskin picks Navy, giving up a point.
GENE: I can't go against Rutgers here. Navy will not stop Ray Rice. Rutgers has a grudge. And as I say this, I'm laughing. Are we really talking about Navy and Rutgers?
Gene says Rugers will win the game.

1. #1 Ryan is undefeated and facing the always dangerous Bradley Peters this week. A loss for Peters puts him under .500. Does Ryan lose for the first time this season?

This game is about the injury bug. Whoever is bit less by their player's injuries should pull it out. Lynch and Hill for Plub or A Young for Peters. Then again, what has Young done this year when healthy. PSU is the pick.

Which has more question marks? Ryan's lineup this week or the hijinx-laced plot of Two and a Half Men? I'll go with Ryan's lineup this week. Lynch questionable this week, McKnight on a bye and rumors of J. Davis being injured. This will be the week he is challenged most. The bigger question is has Brad Peters ever been under .500? I don't think so and I think that's something you can hang your hat on. When the dust clears, Ryan will end up with his first loss and Peters will bring right back into the title hunt.

This game is going to be too close to call. I would have picked Brad as the favorite, but he will not be able to go three wide due to bye weeks by C. Johnson and J. Samardzija. The bad news is he may have to after losing Javon Ringer for the season and Albert Young being benched. Ryan has favorable match-ups all around and should win comfortably, while keeping his unbeaten streak alive.
2. Undefeated Joel finds himself #4 in the BCS. Is this justified?

No, I don't believe it is. It's not Joel's fault that teams have not put up much of a fight against him. Undefeated is undefeated and that, this late in the season, should rank more highly against the points in my opinion. I can see him being behind Luke, but behind Travis, whose team is truly a pile of stinking rubbish, yikes.

Joel is 6th in scoring. 6th. That's middle of the pack. He has scored under 100pts in 3 of the last 4 weeks, with the exception barely breaking it (102.9). He is last in points against. Most points scored against him have been 115.65. There was a 100.35 pts against game, but the rest have been under 100pts. The bottomline is Joel is not putting up points, he's been extremely lucky and playing teams when they are their weakest. Joel is deservedly 4th and I'm not sure he would argue.

Of course it's justified. This guy has been lucking out, all the way through. Riding some mediocre performances by his skill players to a 6-0 mark. That said, sometimes that's all it takes. If he continues to win out, he will climb back up to the top regardless of whether he wins pretty or not. I think he wins again this week, as he once again has favorable match-ups against one of the more competitive teams he has faced.
3. Baver was in the title game last season. Now he finds himself about to be passed in the BCS by Hawk. Is there any chance for him to recover in the standings?

Stick a fork in ColdGinnn. Spending too much time with the nudie mag at the draft appears to have caught up to Baver this year. Getting Jarrett back full speed will help, but not enough.

Baver is finding life more difficult without having a Texas Tech QB. Baver is accustomed to being in contention in fantasy leagues, but I think its going to be really hard for him with the platter of shit sandwiches he has in his lineup from week-to-week. At least he beat Kevin this year. On a lighter note, Travis loved Everybody Loves Ramon...could he also love Kevin's favorite show (and mine), Two and a Half Men on CBS?

It depends what you mean by "recover". Mr. Baver doesn't have a bad team, but they have yet to put it all together consistently. Bad coaching has left them embarrassed in recent weeks, especially after a season low 56 points last week. Don't get it twisted though, I stick with my earlier Toilet Bowl prediction, Hawkeyes vs. Johnsonville. That said, Baver still won't climb into the Top 5 by years end. Redemption against the Zips after last year, is the only thing ColdGinnTimeAGinn is playing for at this point.

Let the controversy begin. Joel is this year's Boise St. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Each week, a new question. Each week, a fake dollar to gamble.
This week's question: "Who will win this year's Heisman?"
Results to questions will be posted in the module to the right.

This week...we have a 4th opinion... 1. Which college team has been the biggest surprise and the biggest disappointment this season?
I don't think there's much doubt that Rutgers is a surprise, but they are not the biggest one. To me, the biggest surprise team is Missouri. Their QB can really fling it, and if they can beat Texas Tech this weekend, they have a real shot at one of the later bowl games.
As for bust teams, Penn State comes to mind, but right now I'm leaning towards Miami of Florida. Larry Coker has to go.

First things first, I'd like to apologize to one Joel Browder for last week's outburst. I dug a ditch and the buried myself in it. Onto the new stuff. The biggest surprise, is a tie between Wake Forest and Syracuse. Wake, coached by ex-Ohio University mastermind Jim Grobe, sits at 5-0 this season. Syracuse was predicted by many to finish in the basement of the Big East and has played great. The biggest disappointment is Arizona State. Not only do they tackle like Albanese trying to hug a thick girl at a nudie bar, their once powerful offense has been stripped of their passing game due to shoddy line play.

The biggest disappointment would be that Kevin laughed for days about my "Hang 10" joke on Two and a Half Men (on CBS). However in college football, it's Arizona St. Their offense was supposed to be very strong. QB Carpenter was put in an awful position by his coach (who will most likely be fired) and has been forcing everything. The running game has stunk, their line can't block and their WRs aren't getting open. Overall they are playing worse than I act.
As for pleasant surprises, I go with Ohio St and Michigan. Both teams had questions defensively coming into the season. Those have been answered, as Ronald English has shaped up Michigan's defense and Son of the Animal has been making big plays in every game for the Buckeyes. The way they're playing, they look to be on a #1 vs #2 collision course.

Last year people were calling for Lloyd Carr's head. The Wolverines lost 5 games for the first time in 20 years, 4 of which they led at the beginning of the 4th Quarter. Coach Carr is back with some new coordinators to make sure people don't forget he is the third winningest active coach in football. Michigan has looked better this season then they have in 5 years, with a huge win over Notre Dame and solid wins over Minnesota and Wisconsin. That said, let's not forget that Georgia Tech started the year outside the Top 25 and is now a force to be reckoned with. A quality win over the Hokies of Virginia Tech and a close lose to ND have Calvin Johnson and Co. thinking BCS early.
I think Miami (FL) who started the season 12th have to be a candidate for the biggest disappointments. The runner-up here, has to be Arizona State. They had a public "can't lose" QB controversy that ended badly. Now Sam Keller is having the last laugh as once ranked SunDevils look to fall to 3 losses this week against USC.
2. Who will be the no.1 fantasy player at their respective positions, when the smoke clears?

No question, in his weak league it's going to be Raymell Rice. This guy was what? A 6th rd pick or something like that? And he's on pace to be the top RB in FNCAA. Peterson's schedule gets tougher, and Rice's schedule stays about the same. Raymell Rice is my vote.

The #1s, by the end of the season will be... QB - Graham Harrell gets the nod over spread wizard Chase daniel, RB - Adrain Peterson, followed by Ray Rice and Slaton, and WR....I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb here and say Mario Manningham. The guy runs excellent routes and has a favorable schedule the next few games.

At QB, you have to go with Harrell at Texas Tech. Some experts feel next year will break the streak of Texas Tech QBs taken first overall. Why? Harrell is on pace for 3,700+yrds passing with 36tds and only 5ints. That is disgusting. At RB, I think Peterson and Rice will battle it out. Ray Rice will end the season as the best back due to an easier schedule, but both backs will end with close to 2,000yrds rushing and 20+tds. WR is up in the air. I see it as a two-horse race between Calvin Johnson and Mario Manningham. Both will have 1,000+yrds and tds in the 15-17 range. I think the nod has to go to Calvin Johnson...he can't be covered and Ball can force the ball to him at any point in a game...and does.

Here is my All-FNCAA mid-year first team candidates:
I like Harrell to keep Red Raider QBs entrenched as the No.1 overal pick draft picks for a reason. Harrell edges a surprising late run by Brady Quinn and Notre Dame's soft second-half schedule.
At running back, I like workhorse back Adrian Peterson over workhorse back PJ Hill. Both these guys teams are counting on them to carry the load. This one will be close, but I like the smooth character of that Peterson kid.
Can anyone stop Calvin Johnson? I don't think so, and now Reggie Ball knows it too. This guy should continue to clean up for the rest of the season. His numbers suffer from being rested in a couple early blowouts, but Johnson holds off Manningham and becomes the clear choice.
3. Who is your Heisman winner at this point?

This will ruffle some feathers in Columbus, but to me it's not even a race right how. Garrett Wolfe is the most exciting player in the country. Enough about his MAC status, he lit up Ohio State for 177 (and a handful more receiving)... this kid can do it against anyone, and has a more than legit shot to break Barry Sanders' record.
Troy Smith is definitely #2, and may win it because he's in the Big 10. But to me, the player of the year to date is Garrett Wolfe. The guy is an animal.

If the question were to be, who would I vote for Heisman, the answer would be easy. Garrett Wolfe. The guy is a dynamo. He puts up numbers against everybody they play and is on track to have the greatest statistical season for a RB in college football history. That said, my prediction would be Adrian Peterson. Voters will combine his numbers with Bomar's dismissal and wha-la, there's your winner.

At this time, there is no doubt.
It's Troy Smith. He has been unflappable at QB for Ohio St. Beating #2 Texas and #13 Iowa...on the road...in night games. Although his stats are not as glossy as others, Troy Smith wins games and has more moxie than any QB in the nation. This is his trophy to lose and it will take an Ohio St loss coupled with poor play for him to do so.
Sidenote...anyone who picks Wolfe over Smith is a fool. There is no question he is good. He's on pace for over 2,800 yrds rushing and 26tds. BUT...he plays in the MAC. The MAC develops good players and is good for the yearly upsets, but you can't put up good stats against Ohio St and then play MAC teams all year and win the Heisman. Wolfe will be the 2nd player in history to rush for over 2,000yrds and NOT win the Heisman (Larry Jonhnson...later Stoner).

It's so early in the season for this question, but alas I am the Great Mayne-dini, and see all that the future holds. Steve Slaton wins the Heisman and plays for a National Title against the winner of the OSU-Michigan game, where WVU gets sent home with their tail between their legs. If WVU drops a game though watch out for Troy Smith or M. Manningham. Manningham looks to become the first WR to win this prestigious award since Desmond Howard in 1991. Seems fitting to pass the torch to another great Wolverine wideout.
Darkhorse pick: Ian Johnson RB on an undefeated Boise State team as they shake up the BCS system.

Back at it this week with Gene Simmons. In the time we've been gone, Gene has recorded 2 solo albums, which I am sure are excellent. Be sure to pick them up KISS fans.
LAST WEEK: Gene went 4-1, Kreskie boy went 1-4. For the year, Gene is 7-2-1, Kreskie is 2-7-1.
Clemson (-17) at Wake Forest
The A-K: The Deacons are playing a great team game to start this season. They're winning with line play and defense. However, the Amazing Kreskin is fairly impressed by this year's Clemson Tiger squad. They run the ball with authority as well. In the end, I see Clemson as a little too explosive for Wake even on the road. The Amazing Kreskin chooses Clemson, laying 17 on the road.
Gene: Wow. Not an easy game to pick this week. I'm not sure that Wake Forest is for real, and I'm really not sure how good they will be when they have to throw the ball against Clemson's tough Run D. However, Wake Forest has looked good, even though it's against patsies. However, has Wake Forest ever won that big of a game? CLEMSON is the pick.
Pittsburgh (-7) at Syracuse
Gene: I think this one is simple. Pitt is a joke. Wannestadt is a joke. Syracuse is the pick. No analysis needed. Syracuse + the 7. Pitt may win 10-7, but I don't think they cover this 7.
The A-K: Syracuse was picked to be possibly the worst team in 1A football this year coming into the season, and that was based upon the horrible play of their offense. Most notably the exceptionally horrible play of QB Perry Patterson. But they've hung in there all season, and now riding a 3 game win streak. I'm a little worried to see them give up 512 yards to Wyoming last week though. Pitt is even better offensively and won't allow Delone Carter to gore them. The Amazing Kreskin says Pitt, -7, is the pick.
Washington at Southern California (-20.5)
The A-K: I have a feeling my counterpart Mr Simmons will select Washington here due to his appearance on American currency. The Amazing Kreskin does not fall into such short sighted traps though. I am selecting Washington because of their level of play the past 3 weeks. Don't get me wrong, the Huskies aren't coming close to winning this, but should stay within the 14 - 17 point range. The Amazing Kreskin says UW getting 20.5 is the pick.
GENE: Hmm. A pac 10 game, a large spread. What else is new. I don't like large spreads, unless it was the girl I had 3 hours ago. In this case, I don't like this spread, but I also don't like Washington one bit. Their HC is an idiot. PICK: USC
Oklahoma at Texas (-4)
GENE: How is Texas even favored here? Who have they beaten? Oklahoma has been surprisingly effective with Paul Thompson at QB. This is a rivalry, so really whatever I pick here is just a guess. My gut says Texas can't possibly lose 2 games at home, can they? But, it's not really a home game, and Texas isn't really up to this challenge. However, I see another sucker bet here. The world will bet Oklahoma. I'm taking Texas.
The A-K: The old Red River Shootout. The key to this game as I see it is the play of Oklahoma's defense. They haven't been good this season. If they keep that up, there will be problems. Texas wins this game by 7-10 and the Amazing Kreskin takes them.
LSU (-1) at Florida
The A-K: The hardest game on the board. I see LSU as a superior team, but Florida gets the home field advantage. But in the end, you must fall back on superior firepower. Plus Florida's RBs are dinged up. The Amazing Kreskin picks LSU at -1.
GENE: Awesome. A throw down SEC matchup. Florida is back. Nah, I'm full of it. it's interesting that LSU is favored down in the swamp. That means everyone wants you to bet Florida... a vegas mirage. LSU is the pick. Why? I don't know. I'm not an expert, but I am better than this wrinkled dude I'm going against. LSU
That wraps it up for this week.

Contender or Pretender with the top seven teams in FNCAA featuring Brak and Space Ghost. Later Stoner.

#1 Plub State

Brak:
Remaing Schedule: Difficult (Remaining Opponent BCS Avg. Score: 15.2) 3 Big games against teams that could score 120pts..odds are Plub St is bound to get clipped at least once in October
Core Roster: Excellent! By far the most lethal core of RB's, excellent play from WR's.
Karma Score: Neutral. Clemson and Oregon could be feeling the pressure with their early season success.
Why they will: When they're on...they're on
Why they wont: James Davis gets arrested, Ray Rice carries the ball 50 times in one game and spontaneously combusts.
Plub St.: CONTENDER

Space Ghost:
My colleague is very wordy, yet thorough in his analysis. I'll give you the Cliff Notes versions. Plub State seems to be the most consistent powerhouse team with explosive players at RB and WR. Their next four games on the schedule are brutal facing #6, #4, #3 and then #2 in the BCS Standings. Factor in inconsistency at QB and I see Plub St having 1-2 losses. This still will most likely be good enough to make the title game.
Plub St.: CONTENDER

#2 Wright St.

Brak:
Remaing Schedule: Medium (Remaining opponent avg.a BCS score of 17.2) #1, #3 still on the schedule. Raiders cannot overlook next 3 games
Core Roster: Good, Peterson,McFadden nice 1-2 punch. Brett Meyer nice suprise
Karma Score: Negative, WSU has won their last 4 FNCAA games by an average of 2.9 points.
Why they will: L.Booker goes on a tear, overall team scoring gets into the 110's
Why they wont: Schedule too much for this team to handle, will drop a few games if they cannot score a few games in the 120's
Wright St.: PRETENDER

Space Ghost:
The prediction here is that Wright St reclaims #1 thanks to their cupcake schedule over the next 3 weeks bringing them to 8-0. The problem then is facing Plub St and then Jimmy's Lizard back-to-back. The finale against Mackin could be the difference in title game and #3 for Wright St. Can Adrian Peterson carry them? It's going to be very close. Too close to call.
Wright St.: CONTENDER

#3 Jimmy's Lizard

Brak:
Remaining Schedule: Difficult (Remaining opponent Avg.a BCS score of 15.7) 3 games against #1,#2, #5 remain
Core Roster: Excellent, good backs, great wr depth, great draft overall
Karma Score: Negative, anytime you win a game by .05, that is when my uncle dave likes to say you're "cruisin' for a bruisin".
Why they will: This team can go 3 wide and score, if Hart & Bernard have big games watch out
Why they wont: Backfield breaksdown, Aliens abduct Manningham and Hart...both players return to earth only to be ruled in-eligible for the rest of the season for accepting a free space ride. The subsequent investigation reveals the captain of the Alien ship turns out to be a "friend of the U of Michigan family".
Jimmy Liz: CONTENDER

Space Ghost:
Jimmy's Lizard is dangerous. The WR duo of Meachem and Manningham have proved to be very explosive. The downside to Luke's team is inconsistency (2 of the 5 games have been under 100pts), already having 2 losses, and only having one easy win left on the schedule. Enjoy #3 right now...its all downhill from here.
Jimmy's Lizard: PRETENDER

#4 Handsome Pussies

Brak:
Remaining Schedule: Tough (Remaining opponents avg. BCS score of 16.0) Next 2 weeks this group must show 'pussy control' to make the final two...after that its 'pussy galore'.
Core Roster: Most Excellent, Booty,Hill, C. Johnson, and the shark. Speaking of J. Samardzja-think about how much pussy this guy is getting right now
Karma Score: Negative, Peters called me the night of the draft to declare he had the best draft of anyone by far....that isn't good karma.
Why they will: All kidding aside, very consistent team, can score with the big boys
Why they wont: Too much riding on mid-west talent, schedule + weather could break these kids down
Jackie's Love Below: CONTENDER

Space Ghost:
On the surface, this week's battle against the Zippy Zips appears to show who is the Contender and who is the Pretender. Both teams are well coached and have 3 wins coming in. Peters will win this battle. His WRs are strong and will carry him over Taco. However, Peters has no gimme victories left on the schedule. His wins have been over the #8, #11 and #12 teams in the BCS. Peters loses some games late and finishes #4.
Handsome Pussies: CONTENDER

#5 Zippy Zips

Brak:
Remaining Schedule: Medium (Remaning opponents avg 17.2 BCS score) #3, #4 still on the schedule...Zips haven't shown that they can win a big game
Core Roster: Good, Harrell and Ore form the core. Zips have done well picking up free agents
Karma Score: Neutral, Zips have had close wins and losses
Why they will: Big 12 becomes the new Pac-10, providing the highest scoring games in any confernce
Why they wont: It's hard to repeat as a champion...that will hold true here
Zippy Z's: PRETENDER

Space Ghost:
A little over 5 points. Taco has lost 2 games...to the #1 and #2 teams in the BCS...and lost by about 5 points total. A Texas Tech QB has made the title game every season and this season it could very well happen again. Taco should lose to Peters this week, but it will come down to a battle against #3 Jimmy's Lizard later this season to determine his fate. Taco's Zips win... and he and Joel will be the closest #2 and #3 ever. Yes...controversy.
Zips: CONTENDER

#6 Thanksforthetime

Brak:
Remaining Schedule: Difficult (Remaining opponents avg. 15.5 BCS score) Feast or famine team needs a 24-7 chinese buffett running on saturdays to get past #1, #2, and #4 ranked teams.
Core Roster: Suspect, too many underperforming players
Karma Score: Good, this team has all-the-intangibles starting with the politeness in the team name
Why they will: WR's start scoring in the high teens consistently
Why they wont: WR's dont score in the high teens consistently
Thanks: PRETENDER

Space Ghost:
Two weeks of high scores made Mackin look very strong. However, there are three reasons he should be thankful he's #6. First, he crashed back down and scored under 80pts against Travis. Second, he still has to play the #1, #2 and #4 teams in the BCS. Finally, and most importantly, he lost to Hawk. Enough said.
Thanks: PRETENDER

#7 The Strap Ons

Brak:
Remaining Schedule: Difficult (Remaining opponents avg. BCS score 15.6) 10/7 is an absolute must-win, remaining games v. #3,#4,#5 ranked teams
Core Roster: Excellent, very balanced attack with plenty of fire-power
Karma Score: Excellent, why hasn't this team score more points? They're due
Why they will: S. Young, J. Lane establish themselves as #1 RB's
Why they wont: QB play fizzles down the stretch
Strap Ons: CONTENDER

Space Ghost:
Kevin is arguably the best match-up coach in FNCAA. He has the advtange of having 3 wins already and will decide his fate with games against #3, #4, and #5 in the BCS. Injuries and bad luck eventually stop him from getting too high, but he'll finish in the top 5 at the end of the season.
Strap Ons: PRETENDER to the the title...CONTENDER to high ranked teams

Clutter at the top. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

Frank the Tank went 6-2 last week. Let's see how I can do.
Bowling Green at Ohio (-4.5)
Ohio goes back home after a tough road stretch of playing Missouri and Rutgers. Odds makers give them tough love only showing them as a 4 and a half point fave. Bowling Green lost to Wisconsin, almost got beat by chodes Florida Intl and Buffalo, and then got rolled by Kent. Ohio is the pick here.
Oregon (-1) at Arizona State
Arizona St is a mess right now and Oregon isn't. The Ducks cover this one.
California (-9.5) at Oregon State
Oregon State is as shaky as my shootin' hand. Cal runs and passes all over them, covering 9 and a half.
Houston (+16) at Miami
See if you can follow my logic on this one. Miami can't pass and can run a little. Houston can stop the run well, and can pass a bit. I'll take Houston and 16.
Temple at Vanderbilt (-34)
Pick against Temple until they burn you.
Kansas State (+1.5) at Baylor
Numero uno straight up pick of the week K State goes into Baylor and beats the Bears straight up.
Washington (+4) at Arizona
My rootin', tootin', shootin' stright up pick of the week. Washington pulls it all together and beats Arizona straight up in the desert.

The Season: Gene went 3-1-1. Amazing Kreskin 1-3-1
Game 1: Texas Tech (+1) at Texas A/M
The Amazing Kreskin: Well, I took a little bit of a beating last week. I don't foresee that happening again. It looks like Mike Leach finally has Texas Tech's attention. Benching starters and sharing the ball with 14 receivers will do that. That said, The Amazing Kreskin will go with Texas A&M at home. They historically have played Tech tough there.
GENE SIMMONS: Hold on Kreskie. I think your magic dust is really the stuff you are snorting. Texas Tech has Hicks back, and that's huge. Texas A/M has a good defense, and I agree that Tech struggles against good D's. A/M has won the past 3 of 4 meetings, and Texas Tech's offense is producing their fewest points through 4 games in 6 years. Push bet? Most likely. I have to end up thinking that Texas Tech learned a lesson, and will cover. Texas Tech is the pick.
Game 2: Ohio State (-7) at Iowa:
GENE: Another test for the Buckeyes. Another reason for people to think they won't cover. Well, people kept doubting KISS for years, and look at us. We are still here. So are the Buckeyes. Mike Stoner I hear has pink toilets in his house, but his girlfiend still manages to be a pro sports athlete. Buckeyes -7 may push, but I think they win by 10. Ohio State is the pick.
The Amazing Kreskin: Iowa's first home night game in years. Historically, they've not done well against #1 teams at home. But that was before the pink urinals in the visitors locker room. The Amazing Kreskin takes Iowa getting 7 points at home.
Game 3: Alabama (+13.5) at Florida:
The Amazing Kreskin: Alabama does absolutely nothing amazing. They have boring running backs and a boring quarterback. Florida should have the talent to destroy them. Which is just what they want you to think. The Amazing Kreskin is taking Alabama getting nearly 2 touchdowns.
GENE: Easy pick. I agree with you Kreskie boy, no way Florida covers this spread. Bama seems to come up with the big performances when they need them to keep games close. I think they will again. ALABAMA
Game 4: Northwestern (+18) at Penn State:
GENE: Some may say that PSU is a school that will beat up on the little kids and get smacked around by the bullies. However, that Ohio State game was closer than anyone wants to admit. 2 late defensive TD's won it, take those out and you have a ball game that will make you want to call out to Doctor Love. Northwestern sucks. The pick is Penn State.
The Amazing Kreskin: The battle of two disappointments thus far. Anthony Morelli makes me miss Zac Mills. Northwestern hasn't looked much better. But this year, they've added lousy offense to their lousy defense. The Amazing Kreskin says Penn State plays good defense at home and their offense does enough to cover these 18.
Game 5: Rutgers (-4) at S. Florida:
The Amazing Kreskin: I have to admit that I don't know too much about South Florida. They've beat a couple of other Florida teams and lost to Kansas who was starting their back up QB. I think I know enough. The Amazing Kreskin takes Rutgers, giving up 4.
GENE: Man, Rutgers reminds me a lot of that band "The Vines". They suck bad, but nobody notices because they are always in the news. News creates a buzz. Rutgers gets all this press for their ranking this week, but c'mon folks, this is not a good football team, nor is the BEast a good football conference. That being said, it's another beatable opponent for Rutgers this week, who may end up going to a BCS Bowl game this year to get their butts kicked. All they have is Ray Rice. Probably all they will need in this one, but I'm calling for the UPSET. PICK: S.Florida to cover the 4.
Well, that wraps it up. We'll post records and look into more games next week.

*This week, Ted Knight replaces Trev A.
1. What team in FNCAA scares you the most?

Thanksforthetime is no slouch. If Marlon Lucky keeps this pace up and Sly Newton keeps zeroing in on Sidney Rice, this is going to be one tough team to beat. The key for this group has been excellent free agent pickups. Daniel, Lucky, and old Dicky Lyons are all good starters nabbed off the free agent wire.

I don't think you can talk about scary teams without talking about Mackin's. His team has Over 260pts over the last 2 weeks, taking home both high scores. However, the real scary team is Brad Peters. Having Booty as a QB, Hill at RB and then the combo of Calvin Johnson and Samardzija at WR makes hims a high scoring threat every week. On a good week, that WR combo alone could have 70pts, which is more than a Hawk or Aaron team combined. :)

I think the masses already know it, so why do I even need to say. It's the Zips! Hailing for Zippy Town, USA, last years champs are starting to gel top-to-bottom. This team scored 135 points last week and had 93 points sitting on the pine. Pinnix back as the full-time starter and Notre Dame not being down 17-0 two weeks in a row (D. Walker), should help this team rebound from 2 tough early losses. Craig Davis could be the missing piece to a cast of talented and unsung wideouts. Not satisfied? Check out his schedule, after two more tough tests it looks like smooth sailing to a BCS game for the Zips.
That said, don't count out Jimmy's Lizard. He currently has the No.1 draft and No.1 points on his active roster. That's a scarier thought than a Two-and-a-Half Men Marathon. With some good coaching and trading one of his 5 super wideouts for a QB or running back this team is a force to be reckoned with.
2. If you could start a new FNCAA team today...who would you build your team around?

Barry Sanders. Man that guy could run. Oh wait, current players. Adrian Peterson. He's pretty much destroyed any lingering questions about him. I think he could put up numbers with my grandson Spaulding at quarterback. Point totals this year: 35.25, 27.40, 26.10, 27.80. Top notch, top notch.

Steve Slaton. He and Adrian Peterson are basically neck-and-neck. The difference? While Peterson enters the Big 12 schedule, Slaton's Big East schedule is as weak as CBS' Monday night lineup. Slaton is the fastest back in the nation and the only thing holding him back is playing 2.5-3 quarters/game.

Michael Bush. Haha. Alright seriously folks, Jarret Hicks. Haha. No, no really, I'm sorry. Without a doubt it's Adrian Peterson. He had a lot of question marks at the beginning of the season: injuries last year, lost his QB to Sam Houston State, lost his fullback and the better part of his O-line to the NFL. I won't say he's been the best back in the land, but certainly the best and, more importantly, most consistent fantasy play. Stoops is giving this guy almost 35 touches a game and is the undeniable anchor to the Sooners and Wright State Raiders attacks. I smell a Heisman, and I think some Einstein Bagels in the break room. Yum.
3. Joel (4-0) vs Kevin (3-1) this weekend. Does Kevin have a chance?

The world needs ditch diggers, and Joel's line-up this weekend is loaded with them. Carter is a good prospect, but currently playing second fiddle to Brinkley on a mediocre offense. Shields has scored maybe 13 total points all season. Too much risk, as I see it. Kevin rolls in this one.

Joel has more holes in his lineup than the plot of Two and a Half Men. Kevin has Stewart healthy and Hicks returning after the NCAA was reviewing his eligibility. This game will not be close. Kevin wins big, Joel falls to 3rd or 4th in the BCS.

It's Big Trouble in Little China for the undefeated Raiders this week. Fielding a team with four running backs on BYEs is just poor planning. Such starters for Joel include Delone Carter and Sam Shields. One is a WR for Miami and the other an RB for Syracuse. You don't have to bother looking either of them up though, because neither of them should be on an FNCAA roster in 2006. Meanwhile, I really like Kevin's lineup this week, favorable matchups from top to bottom. Team Albanese lucks into another W and continues to be the BEST-WORST team in the league. Kevin 109, Joel 85.

New #1 this week. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

"Matt Hawk drafted the worst running backs in the history of any fantasy league."

Welcome to PTI. I am The Amazing Kreskin. We'll go over some tasty selections from this weeks NCAA games. Let's get the first one from the announcer.
Game 1: Notre Dame (-3.5) at Michigan State:
GENE: Hotter than hell... that's Charlie Weis after last week's debacle. I tried to say it before, ND and Weis are overrated. A lot of press because it's Notre Dame. He's done a great job recruiting. Maybe Weis will do great with his own players, but his defense is a train wreck. Hello Drew Stanton. Take MSU + 3.5
THE AMAZING KRESKIN: Start it off with a good game. I see this as a chance for Notre Dame to earn back the respect that they lost last weekend against Michigan. However, they fail again. Gene, I think you read my mind on this one. Don't forget who has the super powers here. The Amazing Kreskin predicts Spartans +3.5.
Game 2: Wisconsin at Michigan (-14):
THE AMAZING KRESKIN: Michigan's D is playing great. Darius Walker runs for 25 yards last week as Notre Dame gets dismantled. If they can take that success and apply it to PJ Hill, Wisconsin is in great trouble. The public is all over Wisconsin, but what do they know. The Amazing Kreskin says Michigan -14 is the pick.
GENE: Is Michigan this good, or are they like Pearl Jam (start hot, then put out trash). My guess is that they are just like Vedder, but Wisconsin isn't very good. Any other year, I say take Wisconsin here. Big spread, Big 10 game. Not today. I think Michigan covers, but it may be their version of V.S, which means the end is near. Wait. As I think about it, the people who make these spreads are not dumb. They know the country loved ND and Michigan crushed him. So scratch everything I said, and take Wisconsin. Wisky is the pick. Why? I have no idea. Why do people still buy Pearl Jam cd's? I don't know.
Game 3: Kentucky at Florida (-23):
GENE: This isn't Spurriers Florida, or he'd try to win this game by 65. Kentucky is as consistent as my daily viagra intake. They consistently give up 200 on the ground and 200 through the air. Not good. Finally a good time to start Florida RB's on your team. Florida covers.
THE AMAZING KRESKIN: I did a show in Kentucky once. I predicted that there were 3 sets of cousins married to each other in the crowd. I was pretty close (it was actually 5), much like Kentucky will be this weekend. The Amazing Kreskin says Kentucky getting 23 is the way to go.
Game 4: UCLA (-3.5) at Washington:
THE AMAZING KRESKIN: Mr. Simmons, this game is trickier than picking which guitarist to drag out on your next final reunion tour. Washington is quickly improving and you look at UCLA and think they could implode at any minute. However, I don't forsee this being an implosion game. The Amazing Kreskin predicts UCLA and give up the 3.5.
GENE: To me, this is harder to pick then deciding if I should puchase bull sperm as an investment. I bought the bull sperm. I made 200 grand on one bull. I may make 200 grand on this game if I get it right. UCLA has the offense, but Washington can move the ball if Stanback shows up. Typical pac 10 no defense game. The question isn't the spread, it's who will win. Take Washington. Could be 38-35 one way or the other, either way, Washington covers.
Game 5: Penn State at Ohio State (-16.5):
GENE: Ahh, good ole Columbus. This time last year I was rocking out at Nationwide arena for a bunch of japanese car makers. Hey, I'll do anything for money. We were not very good that night, it's hard to get up for a bunch of people who have no idea what we are saying, but the money spends just as well. I figure this is a sucker bet. On one hand, OSU was only a 17 pt favorite vs Northern Illinois. On the other hand, Penn State may be worse than Northern Illinois. Ohio State has Iowa next week, and the games with Penn State are always fairly close. Or, it's a sucker bet, and someone in vegas knows Ohio State will crush them. I'm going against the odds, and picking the Buckeyes to cover. It's too odd to have this high of a spread, and I think Vegas is planning on cleaning up. Share in the cleaning, take the Buckeyes.
THE AMAZING KRESKIN: Woah, hold on Gene. Maybe you had some of that silly clown makeup in your eyes the past few years and didn't see this game is usually close. 7 to 10 point range close. I think Penn State is undervalued right now due to their mistake filled performance in South Bend. Based on that and the history of this series, The Amazing Kreskin says Penn State getting 16.5 is the selection.
Well, that wraps it up. We'll post records and look into more games next week.

Game time kids. 2-3 last week. Get your green hat and check out these quick hits for this week.
1.) Minnesota (-3) at Purdue Purdue, playing well on offense, getting 3 as a home dog? I'll take that. Wait, no I won't. The Boilermakers gave up rush yardage to Ball St last week led by some guy named MiQuale Lewis. Minnesota smacks the Boilermakers.
2,) Buffalo (+42.5) at Auburn As I once heard, 42 points is 6 touchdowns! I mean, Buffalo stinks, but 6 touchdowns?
3.) Arizona State at California (-7.5) I'm banking on the fact that Cal is no where near as bad as they looked at Tennessee. They stomped Minnesota at home and if they can keep Carpenter and the Arizona St air attack under wraps, there's no real run game to worry about. Cal covers here.
4.) Washington State (-10) at Stanford Stanford is playing without its top 2 receivers and has no run game. Wazu rolls here.
5.) Temple at Western Michigan (-28) I think I'm going to pick against Temple until they burn me. Temple coach Al Golden must be considering eating arsenic at this point.
6.) Kentucky (+24) at Florida Florida breathes a sigh of relief after a close one last week and Kentucky hangs within 24.
7.) Oklahoma State (-1) at Houston When this line opened, Ok State was getting 3 points. Their offense is too much for Houston and they cover a point.
8.) Air Force (+1) at Wyoming Somehow Air Force gets 2 bye weeks in the first 3. They sandwich that lull with scaring the bejeezus out of Tennessee at Rocky Top. Its not that I dislike Wyoming here, but Air Force gets it done on the road, even getting a point.
Until next week...hang loose.

Each week, we'll ask the big questions to ESPN Studios' new college football trio of Trev Alberts, Kenny Mayne and Charlie "Chuck" Sheen.
M. Robert Stoner playing Trev Alberts
Ryan Browder playing Chuck Sheen
and Taco Brookhart as Kenny Mayne
1. Is Joel's Wright State team really the #1 team in the land? If so, why. If not, who is and why?

At this point, who knows. Its too early! I do have to say that the lack of attention that the WS Raiders has paid to their wide receivers may come back to bite them later in the season. A lot of this stuff will play out in the next few weeks after conference schedules start rolling.

Hi Kevin. With conference season upon us, Joel's team is no better than one of the jokes on my hit CBS Series, Two and a Half Men. Plub St is better. Lynch, Hill and Carpenter have not even hit their stride yet. Factor in Chauncey Washington winning the UCS RB job later in the year and you get a very tough Plub St team. If he falters, always look out for Peters.

After a great start Joel is on top. It's no secret, he's wanted - dead or alive. J. Brodius' hopes, however, are more fragile than Trevor's immune system. This team was built for Non-Conference play and, guess what my friend? Non-Conference play is over. Look for JB-Money to tank in the coming weeks. Peters and the Handsome Hand-warmers are in prime position for a move to the top. Johnson and Samardzija are past the meat of their schedule and ready to take it out on some lesser opponents.
2. Since the draft, we have heard they are the best team by far all the way to "white flag" comments. How good or bad is Kevin's team?

The "losing your top 2 picks" thing will make anyone doubt their chances, but overall, I don't think Kevin is in bad shape at all. Things still look decent with Stewart and Markey at RB. To come out of this 2-1, I'd be a happy guy. By the way, take a look at me. Am I a good looking guy or what. I'm no Ryan Gosling, but wow.

Kevin will win 7 games this season (7-5). Overall, his team isn't very good, but he'll win for the following reasons:

• He spends more time scouting NCAA football than anyone. He will put good match-ups out there week-to-week
• Once Stewart is healthy, he appears to be a top 5 back
• Markey is a top 10 back...the UCLA coach will realize this sooner or later
• He watches my show, Two and a Half Men, on CBS

This guy's top 2 picks look to be done for the season, but this guy acts like he's still got a chance to bring home the crown. I appreciate optimism, but wheww..... this teamlooks worse than me on "Dancing with the Stars". Without a legitimate QB on the roster his chances are slim-to-none. Rumorville says Mike Leach called R. Johnson "soft" after the TCU game, and said he might need to make a change. That said, Team Albanese is livin' on a prayer. Shawn Bell, raise your hands if you're Sure. Sure you can't keep this team from sinking.
3. Will Aaron threaten Travis' 10 loss season in 2004?

This is a good one. Based upon the few moves made on the waiver wire by the Wurst, I'd think T-Bone's record will fall. The big thing will be the play of Brady Quinn through the middle of the season. Can he put up big numbers on the Armys and Stanfords. If that comes together and McGill plays Furman a few more times, then anything can happen.

Aaron will break Travis' record. Aaron will finish the year 1-11...with a win over Stoner, most likely. Remember, it usually takes owners a year to break into FNCAA. College fantasy football is a much different beast than the NFL. Travis went 2-10 yet won the league the following year. Kevin was a disaster in Baver's league but after watching Two and a Half Men on CBS Mondays @ 9pm, he has become a good owner over the last 3 years.

When Ronnie McGill is your featured running back, you know you have problems. This team even gives love a bad name, but I can see a couple of wins on the schedule. My early prediction is Johnsonville vs. Hawkeyes in the Potty Bowl.

The first official BCS scores have been posted. See BCS module to the right for all BCS updates throughout the season.

UL Monroe (+24.5) at Alabama
I don't know that Alabama can beat anyone by 24.5. Seriously, their offense isn't very good. UL Monroe hung with Kansas on the road last week, and I'm thinking they can stay a bit closer than 24 here. By the way, if you ever see an Alabama game on tv on their network, the graphics look like they were done in 1985. By a middle school student.
Arizona St (-11) at Colorado
Maybe the oddsmakers see something here I don't. Arizona St's offense is playing well enough to hang about 42 on the Buffs. Colorado has scored 10 points against Montana St and Colorado St. Arizona St is the way to go here.
Wake Forest (+6) at UConn
This game is more of a hunch based on the fact that I don't think UConn is as good as they looked playing mighty Rhode Island 2 weeks ago. Last week Rhode Island beat Merrimack 42-7. Yahoo describes Merrimack as "A small, Augustinian college north of Boston" which means A.) Kevin likes them and B.) nothing when it comes to this weeks game. Wake is on their 2nd string QB who really came around in the 2nd half of last weeks game. This game opened at 2 and is up to 6, but Wake could win it outright.
Miami (+4) at Louisville
This, to me, seems like one of those games where everyone talks up how this is the end of Miami, and then they come out and wipe their butts with whatever team they are playing (see Tech, Virginia last year). The Canes win this game.
Missouri (-14) at New Mexico
Chase Daniel has turned Missouri into a spread offense machine. New Mexico lost to Portland St and won at New Mexico St last week, which really isn't much to brag about. Missouri hammers the Lobos or whatever the hell they are.

Week 1's Prime Time Players:
QB:Brett Meyer, Iowa St - 41.70pts
RB:Ray Rice, Rutgers - 37.05pts
RB:Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma - 35.25pts
WR:Robert Meachem, Tennessee - 40.20pts
WR:Dorien Bryant, Purdue- 37.30pts
K:John Vaughn, Auburn - 16.00pts
D:Clemson- 9.00pts

Stoner's Bonehead Move of the Week:
Week 1: QB:C. Boyd, South Carolina (On Bench) - 25.35pts

This is one guy's opinion of players who could have a breakout season on each team. ColdGinnTimeAGinn - Curtis Painter, Purdue - I had to pick someone and Painter plays quarterback for Purdue.
Hawkeyes - Limas Sweed, Texas - Sweed has good size and looks like a candidate to put up big numbers in Texas's offense. Plus, he has a sweet name.
Jackelopes - DeSean Jackson, Cal - Former Northwestern OC takes over at Cal and takes advantage of Jackson's ability to run after the catch. Oooo baby.
Jimmy's Lizard - Mario Manningham, Mich. - As a freshman, Manningham picked up speed as the year went on. Michigan always has a top notch receiver and it sure isn't Breaston.
Johnsonville State Bratts - Brandon Myles, W. Virg. - If Pat White's shoulder is ok and he can hit the side of a barn, Myles should be the recipient of lots of passes.
JT Ochwat - Arian Foster, Tenn. - Apparently Foster is healthy and hungry this season. Tough schedule in the most physical conference in the country, but I see improved numbers.
Runaway Donkeys - Chris Markey, UCLA - You'd think Jonathan Stewart would appear here, but this is Breakout, not Breakdown. Markey produced when given the chance last season and should be the man.
Thanksforthetime - Andre Caldwell, Fla. - I considered Burgess here, but Caldwell should do great with Leak in his second season in Meyer's offense.
The Handsome Pussies - Willie Tuitama, Ariz. - This guy can fling it.
The Plub State University - Stafon Johnson, USC - With Washington on the shelf, Johnson has looked good for USC. I've heard he's a combination of Eric Metcalf and Craig "Ironhead" Heyward (RIP Craig).
Wright State Raiders - James Finley, Oreg. - I was looking at Lorenzo Booker here, but I trust Oregon's passing offense more than FSU's run offense. Finley should step into Williams's role and produce this season.
Zippy Zips - Branden Ore, VA Tech - I considered Stromile Swift or whoever it was he drafted here, but Ore has looked sharp and Va Tech's schedule includes teams like Capital, I think.
On another topic, someone walked off with a certain adult magazine from the draft. I hope you are getting a lot of enjoyment out of it.

Jagshemash! The FNCAA Draft is... how do you say.. history, and so are a lot of teams' chances already. In my native Khazikstan, we say some drafts suck like dirt.
Let's review a few highlights of the yellow face draft.
TRAVEES: How can he follow up a championship with this draft? Even in my homeland, we know a dead cow is a dead cow. A 6th rd. pick on a guy who isn't even on an NCAA team, followed by a slew of "backup" WR's. I can only hope, for Travees' sake, that something positive comes out of this. Grade: YAK PEE
JT (by Justin): May have set the record for drafting backup RB's. I hear dis man is, how do you say, a homosexual for Ohio State? Or is it homer? My english is just getting around.
In reality, JT can problably draft 5 FA's and field a better team in week 1. Not much has changed here, at least that's what the American Yellow Face tells me. Pittman in the 2nd round drew laughter (he would have been there in the 5th). But then to not draft his crutch Wells made that pick even more worthless. I think my pet lamb would have been a better choice. Guys JT passed on at 2 he will regret for a long time: Filani, Stewart, Pinnix, Hicks... I could go on for a half an hour. Grade: Rotten Pigeon Eggs
Mike, eh... de guy with de big head: Jamaal Charles in the 7 pick was... well.... not good. Will regret passing on Jarrett and Bernard. Stoner was hoping a Slaton or Lynch would fall, and I think he expected it, but it just was not meant to be. Having a Texas RB as your 1 pick with a Frosh QB just isn't a wise scenario, in my humble opinion. Stoner re grouped, however, and had some nice steals later, especially Irons in the 2nd round and Dixon in the 10th. Grade: Mush with a side of weeds
BAVER: Bav, you are a good guy. Your team isn't. How do you say.. drank too much sand at the draft? A very average NCAA squad may net Brent a 5th place BCS finish. By the time Wells is the starter (if he gets it), Brent's season may already have 2 or 3 losses. The key to his squad is Terry Caulley. If Caulley is back to his normal self, then Baver may get through the fire and actually have a good team. He's the wild card. Watch Caulley. Grade: My thongs
PLUB: Same ole same ole. Good first 4-6 rounds, then wasted the rest of his draft. Ray Rice is fantasy worthless, sort of like my potbelly pig. He's good for yardage points... about 8 per game. We here are also good for yardage points, as we have no cars. Took other guys that may never see the field. However, his first 5 picks or so will field him a decent team. Like every other year, Plub will hang around and annoy people in the BCS standings just enough to make it interesting. Grade: Khazikstan national anthm
Well, it is time for me to go make fun of Americans. Not as much fun as making fun of Canadians, but I yet to get to the gay country.
Borat out.

As an advanced doctor, I feel I have a better understanding of how things will play out for tonight's FNCAA draft. While everyone's picks will be glossy, history has shown us that a sizeable number of these players will be busts. I'll tell you where people are going and who might be busts.

1. Travis
   Graham Harrell. His number potential is just too much to ignore. Bush will be the safe pick here, but as long as Harrell starts (TBD) he will put up better stats than Cumbie or Hodges. Oh yeah...and f he puts up anything like BJ Symons, Travis will repeat. The only question is...does he start over Todd? That's a big question mark for the top pick. BUST POTENTIAL
2. Matt Hawk
   Troy Smith. This is a shocker. This move will cause Kevin to do his stupid Bengals touchdown dance, make JT's heart break, and allow Joel to get his safe pick. After Harrell, Troy Smith will actually be the next best QB in FNCAA this season. He is moving up on everyone's draftboard...and not just because everyone loves OSU. Troy is good and very dangerous.
3. MK Albanek...aka Kevin
   Michael Bush. Kevin might try to entertain trades here, but he's getting arguably the best player in the draft. He missed playing time with injuries last year...and he still scored over 20+ Tds. With Brohm back and a full set of receivers, the Louisville offense will be putting up numbers... and Bush will score 25Tds.
4. Joel
   Brady Quinn. Joel wanted Smith and Hawk grabbed him. Joel wanted Peterson and the starting QB and G got kicked off the team. Quinn is the safe pick. Peterson will be very tempting, but Quinn's stats will be fairly close to last years.
5. JT
   Adrian Peterson. JT is deeply saddened with Troy gone. The only solice is that the only player that can brighten his spirits has slid right to him. The question is....can Peterson perform at a high level with no Bomar AND the loss of a starting G? Maybe not Freshman year level but 1400yrds 15Tds shouldn't be a problem. BUST POTENTIAL
6. Ryan
   Dwayne Jarrett. Ryan's streak of RBs has ENDED! Receivers are valuable and Jarrett is the crown jewel in Ryan's eyes. It doesn't hurt that Ryan loves guys who get into trouble with the NCAA and/or the law and that he's had Jarrett the last 2 yrs. Jarrett has a typical 1200/14 Tds season with Sanchez getting him the pill. BUST POTENTIAL
7. Stoner
   Mershawn Lynch. Stoner is presented with 4 guys that he wouldn't mind having (Lynch, Slaton, Irons, Sutton) and will think long and hard about taking Lynch over Slaton. Ultimately he figures Lynch can't screw him 2yrs in a row...Can he? He won't. Lynch will lead the Pac-10 in rushing. BUST POTENTIAL
8. Baver
   Steve Slaton. How does a guy slip this far when he had 16Tds in limited action? Probably because a guy who always drafts RBs picked a WR. Baver has a great value at this pick getting a TD machine. As a sleeper, watch out for him taking Yvenson Bernard.BUST POTENTIAL
9. Luke
   Tyrell Sutton. This guy is a stud...and he put up big numbers in the Big-10. Why does he slide? Basanez is gone. They're starting a bundle of sticks at QB now and defenses should and will load up against Sutton. The Ol' Adrian Peterson 2005 routine.BUST POTENTIAL
10. Brad Peters
    Chauncey Washington. Peters returns to the FNCAA with a bang. Having all the inside info, Peters will be debating Bernard and Washington but end up going with the starting USC RB, a position that accounted for 40Tds last season. It's hard to imagine Washington not having at least 13-15 Tds....but this guy seems to find ways to stay off the field. BUST POTENTIAL
11. Mackin
    Sidney Rice. He is as high as top 4 on some boards...and he will put up numbers that back this. Mackin will walk away with the biggest steal of the 1st round. Rice will end up putting up the best WR stats during the FNCAA season.
12. Aaron
    Kenny Irons. How is Kenny Irons still on the board? Auburn is strong and Irons is as well. Irons should have went sooner and will be a better value than Sutton. Although I think his season won't be as impressive, he's probably a safer pick than even a back like Slaton.

In a shocking development, Baver and Kevin have traded their entire drafts, straight up. Kevin will move from #8 to #3 where it is now believed he looking to leapfrog Joel and JT for Troy Smith.

Darius Walker doesn't get the hype he deserves, which I'll admit is a rarity for a Notre Dame back. I have him rated as one of the players I'm considering at the #4 overall slot in the FNCAA draft. There are several reasons I believe he will produce at a very high level in 2006.

While Brady Q and Jeff S get much of the fanfare for their remarkable performances in 2005, little attention has been paid to the losses of TE Anthony Fasano and WR Maurice 'Stretch' Stovall. Quinn isn't going to sneak up on anyone this season and Notre Dame plays talented teams with D-Coordinator's that have had a whole season to game plan the aerial attack. I think many teams are going to bracket Samardjza (a corner on/under him and a safety over the top). ND doesn't have a proven #2 WR to keep the D honest and until they develop one, the passing game will have to find an alternative to keep the chains rolling. D-Walk (see headband) quietly caught 43 passes last year, and what I like about him is that he has excellent patience on the screen pass...we all know the screen pass is a pass rush killer. Charlie Weis has about 57 different screen passes in his playbook, and with a 2nd off-season to work on this; it will be a bigger part of the offense.

Speed, everyone always says well 'Darius Walker doesn't have the 4.4 speed that the 'homerun backs have'. I don't agree; he ran a 4.45 in high school and he is even stronger than ever. His first two seasons, he was a little smallish out there, so I didn't think he was an every down back. A girl I work with in accounting went to Notre Dame, and she and her boyfriend who knows his ND football attended the ND spring game. The first thing he said to me "your boy Darius Walker looked thick man!" My thinking is the kid is an honor student, has a good head on his shoulders, he gained 1550 yards of total offense as a true sophomore playing in a passing offense...he gets 'it' and he's only going to get better. The numbers will come this season...that's why he's in my group at #4...not because I'm drinking the Touchdown Jesus kool-aid.

2004	185	786	4.2	40	7	10	74	7.4	22	0	0	0
2005	253	1196	4.7	38	9	43	351	8.2	51	2	0	0

Wow. It's been an entire year, eh? Time really flys by when I'm counting my money. I think it was 20 years ago today when I first did Diana Ross... but I digress. So it's that time of year again, and only I know what's going to happen. After all, I am Gene Simmons. I know everything. Here's my first round, tounge dropping predictions.
1. Travis. Good ole Trevor, Travis, one nut... whatever his nickname is this year. Trevor really has no choice with this pick, although many prognosticators are calling for Quinn to have the bigger year, but c'mon... it's Texas Tech, and TT players have won this league every year. And the will again this year, when Travis repeats. That's right, when Travis repeats. The selection is Graham Harrell.
2. Mike Hawk - He's bavers friend, so I'm sure he knows something about college football. And if he gets 1/2 as much action as the girl with his same name sake, he's a stud. Anyway, Mike has no choice either, as Michael Bush is available. He's the pick for me if I had 2, Michael Bush.
3. Brent Baver - I heard this guy knows a thing or two about Ohio State. He also knows fantasy college football, and no way is he passing on Adrian Peterson here. No way. Peterson is the pick.
4. Joel Browder - Joel's pick is very interesting, he could go 100 different ways. I hear this kid loves ND... I got thrown out of ND once, had something to do with blood all over my face, not sure why that freaked everyone out there. You would think it was a religious school or something. Joel takes Brady Quinn, QB ND. Why? C'mon. Look at this kids numbers last year.
5. JT. Some may feel Troy Smith is a reach here, but he's not. All you have to do is look at his fantasy PPG last year when he was the starter, and suddenly people go wow... he was that good? Yeah, he's that good. Troy Smith, QB Ohio State
6. El Plub - This guy is an interesting fellow. He gets a new job and suddenly he thinks he's me, thinks he can drive the fancy car and pull women. I won't answer Yes or No if it's true when he emailed me asking if I had a pig's tounge sewn on, and where he could get one. I think Plub goes for the gusto, and grabs Pat White, QB WVA. He won't be there coming back down, and Plub loves that running QB who looks like he has experience running from the law. Pat White, WV is the pick.
7. Mike "the Polish something" Stoner - Didn't know he was Polish, but I feel bad for him. Girls tell me all the time that only the Polish and Chinese have the small package. Maybe I can get that tounge for him... anyway, Michael tries to be mysterious, but there's no mystery in this. He knows if he passes him up, he'll explode. RB Marshawn Lynch, CAL
8. Kevin Albanese - What a good guy he is. Spends lot's of money to see me spit fire and play a mean bass. This kid really knows what Rock N Roll is all about. Anyone who hates us doesn't have a clue. Kevin has a lot of choices here... and I find it hard to speculate this kid and what he's going to do. But I don't see him passing on Steve Slaton, RB WVA
9. Luke - After last year, Luke can only go up. And he has a nice selection again, This is a very deep first round, no doubt. And the guy sitting here plays RB, and scores a lot. His name is Yvenson Bernard.
10. Sir Jammin James - Not sure why he got this nickname, this kid is whiter than Peter Brady. He plays hockey... enough said. That's white. James is in his first year, so I'm betting he listens to Stoner. And if he listens to Stoner, he'll say hello to Kenny Irons, RB. Not bad for 10. Not bad at all.
11. Pete Mackin - Good ole Pete. Another guy who falls back asswards into a good fantasy team. And he does it again with pick 1 for him, which should end up being WR Jeff Smardzija ND. He's big time
12. Aaron "the dip moocher". Aaron is in his first year, and he loves Ohio State. Ted Ginn is there, but I don't think he has the balls to do it. I think Aaron has to go WR here too, but it doesn't matter, he picks twice. So I'm calling both of his picks, as sure as I called Van Halens demise. In no particular order, Aaron takes WR S. Rice SC, and RB Tyrell Sutton, NW.
Well, the bus is firing up for my book tour. I've written so many, I don't even know which book this is for. I think its my 1,001 stars I've gotten naked with, but I'm not completely sure. I'm in a bad mood still, because Paul didn't ask me to play on his solo album. I'm pretty jealous he nailed a major record deal for his, while mine was so bad I don't even use my own CD as a coaster. Oh well, I still have more money than he does.
This is Gene. We love you, and good night. See you Summer of 07 in full drag.

1. Travis - Travis goes from league champ to getting #1 overall pick in the draft. How about that for good fortune. Rumor had it, in an attempt to upstage Baver, Travis was going to announce his selection of Graham Harrell on month before the draft, but it never came to fruition. Regardless. Graham Harrell (QB, Texas Tech)
2. Mike Hawk - A true man of mystery. The league office has him listed as Mike Hawk, yet his e-mail address says Matt Hawk. There is no mystery about his selection though. Michael Bush (RB, Louisville)
3. Baver - Time for a safe selection from Baver, who knows he can always add a 1400 yard rusher in free agency. Brady Quinn (QB, Notre Dame)
4. Joel - Joel interestingly provided a list of his top 5 players he hoped to land at pick 4 prior to the draft. I doubt seriously he'd consider players 1-4 with this #5 still sitting on the board. Adrian Peterson (RB, Oklahoma)
5. JT - Unavailable to attend the draft, JT is leaving his drafting in the very capable hands of Justin Browder. Justin selects an elusive player in the mold of himself. Except taller. And not afraid of canoes. Drew Stanton (QB, Michigan St)
6. Ryan - Armed with the latest NCAA police blotter, Ryan will be sure to make this draft interesting. Just not in round 1. Historically, players Ryan selects here produce well and keep his team in contention as his cast of upside guys and criminals try to drag it down. Tyrell Sutton (RB, Northwestern)
7. Stoner - The season of one player will be ruined here. History shows whoever is picked by Stoner puts up 10th round numbers. Steve Slaton (RB, West Virginia)
8. Kevin - Kevin, in normal fashion, picks a solid player he doesn't want, complains about him at the draft, and then says I told you so after the season. Kenny Irons (RB, Auburn)
9. Luke - After providing beer and porn to his fellow draftees, Luke provides his team with a Pac-10 running back. Then spills beer all over his cheatsheet. Marshawn Lynch (RB, California)
10. James - Never one to pass up a good homering opportunity, Jammin James steps to the podium and weeps as he selects Troy Smith (QB, Ohio State)
11. Mackin - After being told that NFL favorite Tiki Barber was not permitted to be selected, Mackin selects the college version of him. Yvenson Bernard (RB, Oregon State)
12. Aaron - And finally, the end of the round. Last years league winner selected from this spot. Aaron, possibly because he closely resembles old ball coach Steve Spurrier, selects a wideout with big play potential from South Carolina. Sidney Rice (WR, South Carolina)
Buy my DVD. I'll be signing copies of it at the draft.
Kreskin

The year was 1962 and Duke's Jay Wilkenson was a good value pick early in round two. Perhaps the last Duke football player to have any FNCAA value.

Entry Fees
(11 teams x $50) $550
Travis $35
Site Fees
(11 teams x 15) $(165)
Premium Upgrade $(40)
===========================
Payout Purse $380
Weekly High Scores
(11 weeks x $5) $55
Bowl Game Winners (except Fiesta and Toilet)
(4 Bowls x $10) $40
Fiesta Bowl Winner $165 + Free League Fee for 2007 (up to $15)
BCS #2 $90
BCS #3 $30

1. Travis
2. Mike Hawk
3. Baver
4. Joel
5. JT
6. Ryan
7. Stoner
8. Kevin
9. Luke
10. James
11. Mackin
12. Aaron